'All right', boomed Ron, "now this time the movement around the hall will be anti-clockwise. Music please, Mrs Barnett!"
Even now, forty years later, I would readily shoot Mad Ron Barnett on sight. As soon as Mantovani struck up, I gave my partner a single glance of panic and then bent down to put my left hand behind the Ranshavian knees. As I pushed, Ranshaw bent and I managed to raise the dead weight off the ground. Unfortunately, the sudden pressure of Ranshaw's free-falling torso was too much for my right hand and, head first, my partner hit the banks of the Chalk River. My hand trapped beneath her, I rapidly followed. As we pulled our battered selves to our feet, I heard Ron gaily calling out: 'Never mind, Guise, you'll just have to swim across! Ha ha! One-two-three, one-two-three...' Strangely enough, the little river incident seemed to render insignificant the old foot-coordination problem and Ranshaw and I waltzed with a grim and deadly rhythm towards the next crossing, where sheer grit this time saw us safely over to the other side. As Mantovani heaved his final swirling bow, a hundred battered bodies heaved a communal sigh of relief. In a moment of exhilaration at the final escape from our torture, I even bowed to Rosie and she made a faint curtsy in return.
Was this the start of a teenage romance? Certainly not. Having failed to tell midad of the school dance, and trusting that there'd be no headcount on the night, I made no appearance at the main event. I don't know whether Rosie Ranshaw turned up or not, as I subsequently avoided the subject at all costs. And also managed to avoid every occasion that might involve physical-contact dancing for the next 37 years.
Price if ordered from richard_guise@yahoo.com: £7.00 plus p&p.
Also available from Amazon.co.uk. Click here for link: order through Amazon
There's an audio tape of the book available through Derbyshire Library Service too.
Other Books by Richard Guise:
Moments in Time (with others) 1996
The limerick Gazetteer of Great Britain (1998)
Breaking Cover (with others) (2001)
Neddytown: A History of Draycott and Church Wilne (2001)
'Limerick Gazetteer of Europe, including Great Britain' (2004). All are available from the Author at: richard_guise@yahoo.com
If ordered from Richard at the above e-mail address, it's:
Trent Station £7.00 plus p&p Neddytown £4.50 plus p&p Limerick Gazetteer £4.50 plus p&p From the Mull to the Cape Over the Hill and Round the Bend Two Wheels Over Catalonia latest books all published by Summersdale. All also available from Richard at a LEGS discount.
P&P examples are: 1 x 'Limerick Gazetteer of Europe' to UK: £1.00 1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to UK: £1.50 1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to EU: £2.75 1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to USA: £4.50
Note: Neddytowns are almost out of stock.
Published 2003. A5 paperback, 196 pages, 19 illustrations. ISBN 0-9545587-0-7.
For sale at: Heaps, College St PO (both Long Eaton), Erewash Museum (Ilkeston), Ottaker's, The Book Co, Loughborough Echo office (all Loughborough), amazon.co.uk
Even now, forty years later, I would readily shoot Mad Ron Barnett on sight. As soon as Mantovani struck up, I gave my partner a single glance of panic and then bent down to put my left hand behind the Ranshavian knees. As I pushed, Ranshaw bent and I managed to raise the dead weight off the ground. Unfortunately, the sudden pressure of Ranshaw's free-falling torso was too much for my right hand and, head first, my partner hit the banks of the Chalk River. My hand trapped beneath her, I rapidly followed. As we pulled our battered selves to our feet, I heard Ron gaily calling out: 'Never mind, Guise, you'll just have to swim across! Ha ha! One-two-three, one-two-three...' Strangely enough, the little river incident seemed to render insignificant the old foot-coordination problem and Ranshaw and I waltzed with a grim and deadly rhythm towards the next crossing, where sheer grit this time saw us safely over to the other side. As Mantovani heaved his final swirling bow, a hundred battered bodies heaved a communal sigh of relief. In a moment of exhilaration at the final escape from our torture, I even bowed to Rosie and she made a faint curtsy in return.
Was this the start of a teenage romance? Certainly not. Having failed to tell midad of the school dance, and trusting that there'd be no headcount on the night, I made no appearance at the main event. I don't know whether Rosie Ranshaw turned up or not, as I subsequently avoided the subject at all costs. And also managed to avoid every occasion that might involve physical-contact dancing for the next 37 years.
© Richard Guise, 2003
PRICES
Shop price: £7.99.
Price if ordered from richard_guise@yahoo.com: £7.00 plus p&p.
Also available from Amazon.co.uk. Click here for link: order through Amazon
There's an audio tape of the book available through Derbyshire Library Service too.
Other Books by Richard Guise:
Moments in Time (with others) 1996
The limerick Gazetteer of Great Britain (1998)
Breaking Cover (with others) (2001)
Neddytown: A History of Draycott and Church Wilne (2001)
'Limerick Gazetteer of Europe, including Great Britain' (2004).
All are available from the Author at: richard_guise@yahoo.com
If ordered from Richard at the above e-mail address, it's:
Trent Station £7.00 plus p&p
Neddytown £4.50 plus p&p
Limerick Gazetteer £4.50 plus p&p
From the Mull to the Cape
Over the Hill and Round the Bend
Two Wheels Over Catalonia
latest books all published by Summersdale. All also available from Richard at a LEGS discount.
P&P examples are:
1 x 'Limerick Gazetteer of Europe' to UK: £1.00
1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to UK: £1.50
1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to EU: £2.75
1 x 'Lead Us Not Into Trent Station' to USA: £4.50
Note: Neddytowns are almost out of stock.
Published 2003. A5 paperback, 196 pages, 19 illustrations. ISBN 0-9545587-0-7.
For sale at: Heaps, College St PO (both Long Eaton), Erewash Museum (Ilkeston), Ottaker's, The Book Co, Loughborough Echo office (all Loughborough), amazon.co.uk